I never take for granted the privilege of listening to people who have experienced profound loss in thier lives.
Today I have spoken to two people.
They have both been in survival mode and are both burnt out.
There are so many emotions to process in the wake of losing a loved one. 🤗
My mother passed away in 2016 and my Dad joined her 6 months ago. My reaction to the two events were worlds apart, thanks to the internal work I have done on myself in response to Mum's passing.
I didn't know I was burnt out when my Mum passed away. Her passing woke me up to it, because after a few months it became difficult for me to even function. The grief was overwhelming. To hide my feelings from my children, I would cry on the laundry floor.
Keeping emotions pushed down takes energy. ⚡
And on top of that, we jump straight into action to distract ourselves from the pain and out of necessity. There is a lot that has to be done, there are other people who rely on you. 🏃
All of these things become your priority until they have become your habit. Just keep on moving, keep on doing .....
But eventually, it becomes draining - holding down the pain and keeping the ship on course. It takes its toll on you and your family.
The first step in overcoming loss is to identify the emotion that you feel about the loss and allow yourself to feel it.
The second step is to question it. ❓
When my Nana died, my Mum worried for the rest of her life about whether there was anything else she could have done. She nursed her in our home for the last eight months of her life, and still she wondered is she could have done more. She took that burden of doubt and guilt to her grave. She never questioned it.
The third step is to explore the belief that your loved one is okay. More than okay. And all they want for you is for you to be happy and live the life you still have to the fullest.
There is so much more to this process of-course and if you need to talk to someone about it, please reach out to me via email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Your loss may not have been a person, it may have been a bushfire or being unable to travel to see family. When you learn how to reconnect with your Self, you begin to find that spark within you again, and the future looks bright. 😎